The Morning Star

Oh God I found something worse than Twilight...

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:50:17 GMT

Emma - to be writing a regular feature

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:08:32 GMT

When I write, I write like you would imagine a Sunday paper to illustrate. I thrash away at the keyboard, moving between fifty windows whilst rearranging a multitude of hand written notes. It is a gloriously chaotic affair. If you were to peer into my head you would invasion some calamity of machinery, processing ideals and creating structure as fast as it can possibly go. The amount of cheap biros that I have chewed to pieces escapes me.

Yet by comparison, Emma is much quieter. Her feet will be raised, balancing her laptop wherever is comfortable deep in thought and thoroughly relaxed. The silence is rarely broken as we have planned ahead - we know which section to work on and rarely need to converse. This has been done beforehand and at considerable length.

Yes, when I write, I destroy desks and damage keyboards. When Emma writers, it is refined affair.

This would be one of the reasons why her job is looking at changing her position.

You see, Emma was fortunate to be working relatively close to the editor of a corporate magazine. Understand Emma has a deep rooted passion for writing he decided to give her a shot - to write a 1200 page feature of a new detox treatment for their next issue. A marvellous opportunity I think you will agree, especially someone who is looking to get published. Doing such a thing shows ambition to a potential publisher making an author less of a risk, assuring them that the whole book thing is not a fad. It is important to impress them.

It has been important to impress her workplace too, and that has happened, because today, Emma was asked to do two more features and was told that she may as well have a regular space in the magazine for the future.

Emma Campbell, a regular writer of a feature that goes out to every client in the beauty industry in the UK.

I am incredibly proud of her and cannot wait to see the results.

Oh, hi. Don't mind me, just dumping this here.

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:45:45 GMT

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

I pirated your shit. Seriously, I downloaded it. I downloaded your poor excuse of a vampire series so that I could examine it without parting money. I am glad that I did, because if I parted my hard earned cash for this tragic self absorbed finger fest I would have to be totally moronic. Whilst investigating, I found myself subjected to various emotions which I shall detail:

Number 1: Confusion
Number 2: More confusion
Number 3: Rage
Number 4: Confusion resulting in me spitting blood over the pages
Number 5: Astonishment over your contempt for Vampire fiction, inclusion of plot devices that break your story into a thousand pieces and the fact that this was done whilst riding every plot and format from every Vampire tale since 1973.
Number 6: Fear that this text is allowed in the same world as mine
Number 7: Large amounts of rage

This all resulted in my vomiting over the pages before tossing it into a fire. The scene was identical to Indiana Jones where the Ark was opened.

In conclusion I cannot believe that you would blight the world with such a deranged collection of clichés under the illusion that it is a romantic epic. Please do the right thing and publically apologise for what you have done, then promise never to write ever again.

- Chris

Where can I park my bricks?

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:47:31 GMT

http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/50464

It's been ten years in the making but say hello to the return of a legend, an icon, from the days when PC shooters didn't need epic storylines or chumps in metal suits for protection. All he needed was a fist full of cash, a bad attitude problem and dry one liners. The king is returning...

Random LJ bollocks post #243

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 08:49:44 GMT

Todays random nugget chunk:

We have a resident squirrel in our garden.

And there we have it (time's up)

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 08:55:03 GMT

To all,

A few days ago I said I would cull everybody who didn't reply to a journal entry I made three days ago. The reasons for this were well stated, going along the lines that it was a clean up of sorts so I could dissasociate myself with particular groups of people. That my life was entertaining enough without morons dropping my name to cause drama because they have nothing else to do.

This is a message to tell you that the cut happens today.

If you havn't commented that you would like to stay, and would want to, please do so here. Naturally not everybody gets to read Livejournal every day, so if you didn't manage to reply and you still want in, don't take it personally, understand the process and drop a comment here.

To all those who didn't reply because our lives have gone in different directions... It's been fun, and I mean that. I always take away something when I've spent time with people, or discussed certain things so I never call it time wasted. Whatever your persuits, I hope you attain them. I wish those people good luck in their future.

You never know, maybe we'll cross paths again down the line.

Friends Only

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 20:41:19 GMT

You know the drill, reply if you want in.